Almost 31 weeks

In 2 days, I'll have reached 31 weeks pregnant. Oh my how time flies! It seems like just yesterday I was buying pregnancy tests that kept coming up negative even though I KNEW they should be positive. Yes, Chris thought I was having a hysterical pregnancy, but I wasn't...obviously. That was over 6 months ago.

Now its the 3rd trimester, and I'm feeling it. I'm feeling big. I'm feeling curious. I'm feeling freaked out (but just a little and not too often).

Let's start with feeling big. A nurse friend that I work with told me this week that she thought I was growing a big baby. Fabulous. Here I am, all about pursuing a natural, out of hospital birth, and now I have to consider pushing out a mega-baby? Thankfully I passed my glucola test at 28 weeks, so I don't have gestational diabetes, which predisposes you to big babies, but still. My boss made me feel better when she said she thought it was going to be a long baby. I'll take long! Its wide that makes me squeeze my legs together and tremble slightly.

On to feeling curious. Another nurse friend, who had two birth center deliveries, asked how I was feeling about the actual delivery, mentioning that she had felt excited about the first one b/c it was something so new and unknown. I agreed with her, but more than excited, at this point I'm super curious--about everything. How will I handle contraction pain? How bad will it hurt? Will I be a screamer, a moaner, the silent type? Will I shake, puke, poop? Will pushing feel better or worse? Will I go fast or slow? So many questions about the delivery!!!

Then there's the curiosity about the baby. Boy or girl? (yes, we still DON'T know). Lots of hair? What color? What color eyes? I'm guessing yes to lots of hair b/c of the ridiculous amount of heart burn I've been having, and I'm guessing light colored eyes b/c I have green ones and Chris has green/brown ones. Hair color remains a mystery to me. How big will this little one be? How long? How many fingers and toes? Hopefully 10 and 10. Will baby Baker be a good sleeper? A good nurser? An easy or hard baby?

This moves us into curiosity about motherhood. What will I love? What will I fear? What will I hate? Are cloth diapers worth it? Will baby Baker take a bottle when the time is right? Will pumping at work be strange or a nice break? How often will I get peed on/pooped on/spit up on every day? How will my priorities change? How will I lose the weight I've gained? How do I buy groceries? Etc. etc. etc. etc.

And this segues nicely into feeling freaked out, sometimes. If I start to think about how much will change in 2-3 months, it can get overwhelming. Thankfully, I have lots of great friends, family, and resources to find answers to my questions and help with I need it. My sweet husband will dutifully take on diapers and grocery shopping and his turn with the baby so mommy can go on a bike ride, and he'll be great at it all. We both have so much to learn, but we're looking forward to figuring it all out together.

I'm sure there will be lots of prayer, some tears and confusion, and then more prayer. I KNOW there will lots of love and joy amidst sleepless nights and poopie diapers. And thankfully, by August, most of those questions that drive my curiosity will be answered. And hopefully by Christmas, most of the "bigness" that I'm feeling will have melted away after months of breastfeeding and a return to triathlon training that I SO look forward too. (I never thought I'd miss running this much).

So until sometime in late May or early June, I'll keep getting bigger, keep being curious, and will still freak out periodically. And that is OK.

Two New Pics from Chris

Things I've NOT loved during pregnancy (be sure to read through the end).

1. Rhinitis of pregnancy (i.e. a stuffy nose almost all the time)
2. morning sickness (99% resolved at this point. Yeah!)
3. Prenatal vitamins
4. Calcium pills.
5. Food aversions for 4 months--salad, vegetables, coffee--but now I LOVE these things.
6. Sleeping on my side.
7. Mood swings.
8. Crying at commercials...and most anything else remotely sentimental.
9. Gagging when I brush my teeth.
10. Exhaustion.
11. Being out of breath from walking up the stairs too fast. Seriously?
12. Feeling like I have no idea how to deal with a newborn.
13. Gaining weight in all the wrong places.
14. Underwire bras.
15. Wearing 20% of my clothes 100% of the time.
16. Not being able to button my coat anymore...its cold ya'll!
17. Hot flashes at night.
18. Waking up before my alarm. That used to never happen.
19. Round ligament pain.
20. Heart burn.
21. Not drinking wine or eating sushi.
22. Not taking Ibuprofen (oddly enough, I kind of miss it. Maybe I have a problem.)
23. Costochondritis (inflamation of the cartilage in my rib cage.)
24. Not being able to "suck in" to squeeze through things or by people.
25. Worrying about what might go wrong and having to shut those thoughts DOWN.

This list is shorter than the thing I've loved during pregnancy, but its still a pretty good size list. Regardless of how long or short it is, I have to say, I really do LOVE being pregnant.

Its a time like no other. I've never felt more loved, more feminine (even though I can barely shave my legs on my own), and more excited about what lies ahead. Despite the aches and pains and emotions and sickness, seeing baby Baker rolling around in my tummy is just incredible and thinking about being a mom and Chris being a dad makes my heart beat faster. Praying that our baby will be blessed by God, will grow up to know and love Him, and trusting Him for this baby's life has deepened my understanding of what it means to be a child of God. The idea of unconditional love becomes more and more real with each passing day.

Things I've loved during pregnancy

1. People rubbing my tummy.
2. Watching baby Baker turn flips in there.
3. Seeing Chris's face when he first felt baby Baker move.
4. Flintstone's chewables
5. Bella Band
6. Wireless bras
7. Eating organic
8. Tall coffee from Starbucks (I tried doing decaf but kept drifting off)
9. Goddess dressing from Annie's
10. Zofran
11. Bran muffins
12. Fiber One bars
13. "Secrets of a Baby Whisperer" by Tracey Hogg
14. The Birth Center
15. Talking with Chris about names and finally deciding on them...I think.
16. Other people's opinion about whether we're having a girl or boy.
17. Not knowing whether its a girl or boy.
18. Long walks with Katherine and Jena Marie.
19. Getting bigger.
20. So far, no stretch marks. Please Lord...no stretch marks!
21. Praying for our baby.
22. Wondering if he/she will be blond or brunette.
23. Refinishing a crib.
24. New water bottles that I carry everywhere.
25. Wondering how I'll cope with labor and delivery.
26. Talking with my patients about being new parents and about their pregnancy.
27. Seeing our parents get excited about being grandparents.
28. Registering (target/target.com and amazon.com, in case you were wondering).
29. Boppy body pillow.
30. Cutting back on working out. I still do, but not 2-3 hrs a day like before.
31. The prospect of going part time at work after maternity leave.
32. Prenatal massage.
33. Tom's Natural Toothpaste and Deodorant.
34. Indulging food cravings..thankfully they aren't completely unreasonable.
35. babycenter.com
36. Getting over morning sickness.
37. The awesome support of friends, coworkers, and family.
38. Anticipating being a mommy.
39. Maternity jeans...they make such a difference.
40. Tums


Anyone else have things they LOVED during pregnancy?